You’re sort of famous,
A minor celebrity,
And so it only makes sense
The world would be
Obsessed with every single thing
You do

They’re running ’round
With their camcorders in the night,
They’re lurking patiently and
Hopin’ that they just might
See something real embarrassing
You do

The bad hair day and sweat-stained T-shirt,
That’s the story that they’re gonna feature
With exclusive pics of your flabby behind,
You think you’re all alone
But that’s right when you’ll find…

A bunch of paparazzi poppin’ outta nowhere,
Cameras in your face
And then suddenly-y-yy
You’re TMZ-e-ee
You’re on TMZ

Following you when
You’re walking down the street
And askin’ stupid questions
While you’re tryin’ to eat
So you cover your face thinking to yourself:
“Hey, isn’t this creepy?”

And they’re out there praying
You’ll have a big meltdown
And take ’em on a little
Car chase through this whole town
They’ll be there with you when you’re going to jail,
First on the scene for every wardrobe fail

You just picked up some transvestite,
Seconds later, it’s up on the website
Get a Vegas wedding, a quickie divorce,
And they’ll be sneaking in, snappin’ pictures of course

And if they ever catch you pickin’ your nose or
Stumblin’ down the street on a drunken spree-e-ee
You’re on TMZ-ee
Stalkin’ you, just waiting by your front door
Trailin’ you through airport security-y-yy,
They’re with TMZ
They’re with TMZ

“We caught this Oscar nominee…picking up dog poo!”
“Is that a baby bump?”
“I pronounce her guilty…of leaving the house while fat!”
“Look who’s drinking coffee!!”
“Everything celebrities do is fascinating!”

Oh, lemme tell ya it’s
Gettin’ to the point where
A famous person can’t
Even get a DUI,
or go on a racist rant
Those guys are all around
So you really shouldn’t dare
Goin’ to every club in town
If you’ve lost your underwear…

Seems that every single time a star decides to
Shave their head or ram their car into a tree-e-ee,
They’re on TMZ-e-ee
If they catch you peein’ in the bushes,
Later on that night, well I guarantee-e-ee
You’re on TMZ-e-ee
You’re on TMZ

You’re on TMZ
Every single celebrity-y-yy,
Knows they’re gonna be-e-ee
They’re on TMZ