Posts in category: Al-riginals
Hardware Store

Nothin’ ever (ever) happens in this town Feelin’ low down (down), not a lot to do around here I thought that I would go right out of my mind Until a friend told me the news He said, “Hey! You know that vacant lot Right beside the gas station? Well somebody bought it And on […]

My Baby’s in Love with Eddie Vedder

Oh, my baby, my baby she don’t want me no more Ever since she saw his poster in that record store She says the way he grinds his molars is really sexy She thinks he’s so darn dysfunctional and “Generation X”y She likes his brooding angst and his wild-eyed stare Yeah, he’s her very favorite […]

Truck Drivin’ Song

I’m drivin’ a truck Drivin’ a big ol’ truck Pedal to the metal, hope I don’t run out of luck Rollin’ down the highway until the break of dawn Drivin’ a truck with my high heels on My diesel rig is northward bound It’s time to put that hammer down Just watchin’ as the miles […]

Your Horoscope for Today

Aquarius There’s travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day Pisces Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those […]

Since You’ve Been Gone

Since you’ve been gone Well, I feel like I’ve been chewing on tinfoil Since you’ve been gone It’s like I got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil Oh well, I’m feelin’ like I stuck my hand Inside a blender and turned it on You know, I’ve been in a butt load of pain […]

The Night Santa Went Crazy

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin’ toys For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys When the boss busted in, nearly scared ’em half to death Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo Like […]

Callin’ in Sick

Hit my snooze alarm For the 27th time Just don’t feel like goin’ to work I think I’ll call my boss the I Am gonna hack and cough and wheeze Swear I got some strange disease What’s that little twerp gonna say I’m callin’ in sick today Callin’ in sick today I could shine my […]

Traffic Jam

Carbon monoxide Making me choke No A.C. And the radio’s broke Cars backed up Far as you can see Seems like I’ve been waiting here for all eternity Oh, and just in case you’re wondering I’ll tell you where I am I’m right here (right here) right here (right here) Stuck right here in the […]

She Never Told Me She Was a Mime

When we first met she seemed perfectly normal… I never dreamed she’d make my life so hard You see, my baby, she started to change… Started lookin’ kinda strange Wearin’ all that white makeup and those black leotards Well, I guess she kept her little secret pretty well Now, ever since I learned the horrible […]

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