Down in the workshop all the elves were makin’ toys For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys When the boss busted in, nearly scared ’em half to death Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo Like […]
My whole family Loves “Three’s Company” See the reruns constantly There on my TV Syndicated Incorporated Well, I know what’s on the tube I know just what too see Got my TV Guide with me “MASH” and “All In The Family” “The Munsters” and “Mayberry R.F.D.” I will always be busy Watching my TV Oprah […]
Say, do you remember that guy Larry next door? Well, he always was the neighborhood clown Like the time he pulled my pants off and he took those colored pictures And posted copies all over town Or the time that he dumped toxic waste on my lawn Or those wacky prank phone calls from midnight […]
Hit my snooze alarm For the 27th time Just don’t feel like goin’ to work I think I’ll call my boss the I Am gonna hack and cough and wheeze Swear I got some strange disease What’s that little twerp gonna say I’m callin’ in sick today Callin’ in sick today I could shine my […]
Ah, ah, ah, cha cha Cha, cha, cha, cha cha Listenin’ to the muzac Hearin’ people scream Sittin’ in the waiting room Readin’ crappy magazines With a toothache This is it, pal Root canal My molars are impacted I’m gettin’ gum disease I’m gonna need some fillings Got twelve cavities Can you help me Have […]
Soy un perdidor I’m a loser, baby So why don’t you kill me (everybody) Soy un perdidor I’m a loser, baby So why don’t you kill me Hey I am I am I am I said I wanna get next to you I said I’m gonna get close to you You wouldn’t want me have […]
You tell a joke and forget the punchline Why you always wastin’ my time? Hey baby, trust me, you just disgust me You hair’s a mess and your make-up’s crusty I don’t know too many females Who make a habit of biting their toenails Woah, every time you call, you drive me up the wall […]
Carbon monoxide Making me choke No A.C. And the radio’s broke Cars backed up Far as you can see Seems like I’ve been waiting here for all eternity Oh, and just in case you’re wondering I’ll tell you where I am I’m right here (right here) right here (right here) Stuck right here in the […]
We’re dangerous dudes, we got bad attitudes Most of our brain cells are gone We were born to be bad, you better not get us mad Or we just might toilet paper your lawn We got a reputation ’round these parts We only leave a ten percent tip Sometimes we don’t return our shopping carts […]
You can torture me With Donnie & Marie You can play some Barry Manilow Or you can play some schlock Like New Kids on the Block Or any Village People song you know Or play Vanilla Ice Hey, you can play him twice And you can play the Bee Gees any day But Mr. DJ, […]
When we first met she seemed perfectly normal… I never dreamed she’d make my life so hard You see, my baby, she started to change… Started lookin’ kinda strange Wearin’ all that white makeup and those black leotards Well, I guess she kept her little secret pretty well Now, ever since I learned the horrible […]
I dated Siamese twins I slept with Bigfoot, too Get me on Sally Jesse Put me on Donahue ‘Cause I wanna tell the world about it Right Now My dog’s a narcoleptic My mom’s a circus freak I gotta get a spot on Geraldo’s show this week ‘Cause I wanna tell the world about it […]