Posts in category: Pastiche
Wanna B Ur Lovr

I don’t have a library card But do you mind if I check you out? I like your skeletal structure, baby You’re an ectomorph, no doubt Your face is real symmetrical And your nostrils are so nice I wish that I was cross-eyed So I could see you twice Girl, you smell like Fritos That’s […]

Genius in France

(Hahaha) (Well,) I’m not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I’m dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know… how to put on my own pants! But I’m a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France! Hoom chaka laka Hoom chaka laka Hoom chaka I may not be […]

Why Does This Always Happen to Me?

I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive On the Richter scale it measured 8.2 And I said, “God, please answer me one question… Why’d they have to interrupt The […]

Party at the Leper Colony

Finger food and an ice cold keg It won’t cost you an arm and a leg Dance all night to a rotten band Come on, people, let’s give ’em a hand Saturday night it’s the place to be Everybody cut footloose with me At the party at the leper colony Oh, there’s a party at […]


Sometimes I really wanna be alone… But that’s one state I’m never in… Because I know that I’ve got millions upon millions Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin (Germs) I rub and scrub until my flesh is raw and bleeding (Germs) But they just come right back again (Germs) I can’t even see […]

I Remember Larry

Say, do you remember that guy Larry next door? Well, he always was the neighborhood clown Like the time he pulled my pants off and he took those colored pictures And posted copies all over town Or the time that he dumped toxic waste on my lawn Or those wacky prank phone calls from midnight […]

I’m So Sick of You

You tell a joke and forget the punchline Why you always wastin’ my time? Hey baby, trust me, you just disgust me You hair’s a mess and your make-up’s crusty I don’t know too many females Who make a habit of biting their toenails Woah, every time you call, you drive me up the wall […]

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