I don’t care if you wreck my car or shave off all my hair You can go and run your vacuum during my favorite show And I’ll let you call up folks in Europe you don’t even know Anything you want, babe, if it makes you happy But I’m begging you down on my bended […]
Got to work late ’cause my alarm was busted The boss chewed me out and everybody’s disgusted ‘Cause it’s one of those days, it’s just one of those days I lost one of my socks in the drier I can’t find my wallet and my hair is on fire Just one of those days, it’s […]
I used to think my life was so empty I used to think life was passin’ me by Well, I was just about ready To curl up and die But then one day I got a visit From the cable company Well, they hooked me up and plugged me right in And now I got […]
Things just haven’t been the same Since the flying saucer came Now the aliens are on the loose Well, we tried to hold ’em back Tried to ward off their attack But our atom bombs were just no use They were ugly, they were mean Biggest heads I ever seen They made everybody scream and […]
Coming this Christmas to a theater near you The most horrifying film to hit the screen There’s a homicidal maniac who finds a Cub Scout troop And he hacks up two or three in every scene Please don’t reveal the secret ending to your friends Don’t spoil the big surprise You won’t believe your eyes […]
We all used to call him Jimmy the Geek He was a dumb lookin’ scrawny little four-eyed freak He never used to hang around with the guys He’d just sit in the corner attractin’ the flies He wasn’t much to look at He never was very bright But at least there was one thing that […]
I was waiting in the express lane with my twelve items or less At the checkout counter at the local grocery store I was only passin’ by But a paper caught my eye And I learned a few things I never knew before It said your pet may be an extra terrestrial It said the […]
I visit Mr. Frump in the hospital I see him most every day And when I see Mr. Frump in his iron lung This is what I hear him say (electronic breathing) Y’know, Mr. Frump is my very best friend He’s never a chump or a tease He never tells me lies, and best of […]
I got my alligator boots, I wear my pants skin tight I wear my dark sunglasses in the middle of the night And when I look in the mirror, oh it’s such an awesome sight It makes me want to kneel down and pray I’m so adorable and charming I’m sure that you can see […]
I don’t care about your karma I don’t care about what’s hip No space cadet’s gonna tell me what to do I won’t swim in your Jacuzzi You can’t make me settle down I’d rather kick and jump and bite and scratch And scream until I’m blue I may as well be hyper As long […]
Well, hey, how ya doin’, have a seat, have a drink Boy, it’s good to see you, what can I say Whoa, sorry, gotta run, we’ll get together again Say, what was your name, anyway Well, we’re workin’ on the problem We’ll get back to ya soon (yeah) But don’t try to call me I’ll […]
Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Well, it’s time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year We’ll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer You should be good and happy that there’s something you can eat A million people every day are starving in […]