I used to think my life was so empty I used to think life was passin’ me by Well, I was just about ready To curl up and die But then one day I got a visit From the cable company Well, they hooked me up and plugged me right in And now I got […]
Some girls like to buy new shoes And others like drivin’ trucks and wearing tattoos There’s only one thing that they all like a bunch Oh, girls, they want to have lunch Oh, girls just want to have lunch I know how to keep a woman satisfied When I whip out my Diner’s Card their […]
Things just haven’t been the same Since the flying saucer came Now the aliens are on the loose Well, we tried to hold ’em back Tried to ward off their attack But our atom bombs were just no use They were ugly, they were mean Biggest heads I ever seen They made everybody scream and […]
George, George, George of the jungle Strong as he can be Ahhh Watch out for that tree George, George, George of the jungle Lives a life that’s free Ahhh Watch out for that tree When he gets in scrapes When he makes his escapes With the help of his friend An ape named Ape Then […]
I met him in a swamp down in Dagoba Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda S-O-D-A, soda I saw the little runt sitting there on a log I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said “Yoda” Y-O-D-A, Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Well, I’ve been around, but I […]
Woah-oh! I want a new duck One that won’t try to bite One that won’t chew a hole in my socks One that won’t quack all night I want a new duck One with big webbed feet One that knows how to wash my car And keep his room real neat One that won’t raid […]
Coming this Christmas to a theater near you The most horrifying film to hit the screen There’s a homicidal maniac who finds a Cub Scout troop And he hacks up two or three in every scene Please don’t reveal the secret ending to your friends Don’t spoil the big surprise You won’t believe your eyes […]
Fat and weak, what a disgrace Guess the champ got too lazy Ain’t gonna fly now, he’s just takin’ up space Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain But he’s no bum, he works down the street He bought the neighborhood deli Back on his feet, now he’s choppin’ up meat Come inside, […]