Aquarius There’s travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day Pisces Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those […]
Since you’ve been gone Well, I feel like I’ve been chewing on tinfoil Since you’ve been gone It’s like I got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil Oh well, I’m feelin’ like I stuck my hand Inside a blender and turned it on You know, I’ve been in a butt load of pain […]
Mom and dad are goin’ out for the evening And you’re stuck inside the house all alone That’s when you decide it might be fun to harass someone Dial a random number up on your telephone You ask if their refrigerator is runnin’ Then you tell ’em they should go out and catch it Buddy, […]
Down in the workshop all the elves were makin’ toys For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys When the boss busted in, nearly scared ’em half to death Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo Like […]
Say, do you remember that guy Larry next door? Well, he always was the neighborhood clown Like the time he pulled my pants off and he took those colored pictures And posted copies all over town Or the time that he dumped toxic waste on my lawn Or those wacky prank phone calls from midnight […]