Watch this
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I can say
I came up with more secrets to tell you today
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
So now I gotta give you part three of my confessions
First I told you ’bout the skank that I was cheatin’ with (with)
Then I mentioned she’s havin’ my kid
That’s not all, now I recall more, you see
So now I’ll give you part three of my confessions
Now this goin’ be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do
Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two
Like, remember when I told you that I knew Pauley Shore, Pauley Shore
That’s a lie, I don’t know what I said that for
I borrowed your Chap Stick from you without asking
Oh, and I tried out your nose hair trimmer too
And by the way, that “diamond” ring is cubic zirconium
I killed your goldfish accidentally, just replaced it with another one
These are my confessions
Just when (oh) I thought I said all (oh) I can say
I need to get some (yeah yeah) things off my chest right away
These are my confessions (these are my confessions)
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
Now I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions, oh, oh
Threw up on your dog the last time I had too much to drink
There’ve been times I’ve peed in your sink
Don’t know why (don’t know why, no) but you and I (ah) should agree (ah)
That blongs in part three of my confessions
Baby forgive me, I’m still trying to figure out
Why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grout
Oh, and sometimes in private, really like to dress up like Shirley Temple
And spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)
My boss thinks I’ma a jerk, didn’t get that raise
I haven’t changed my underwear in twenty seven days
And when I’m kissing you I fantasize you’re a midget
I’m so sorry Debbie – I mean Bridget
These are my confessions
Just when (oh) I thought I said all I can say
I got a few (got a few more) more secrets I’d like to convey
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind (my mind) the last two times (my mind), silly me (silly me)
Now I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions, oh, oh
Gave you buttered toast I dropped and picked up off the floor
FYI (I), it was not a cold sore (not a cold sore)
Whoops, my bad (hope you’re not sore at me)
You’ll be madder (ah) at me (ah) when I (even more mad, yeah, baby) finish part :three of my confessions
You don’t know how hard it is for me to tell you this
But you remember that shirt you got me for my birthday?
Ahh, well, I returned it for store credit
That thing was hideous; what were you thinking?
Oh, by the way, I wasn’t really sick last week
I just didn’t want to go to your stupid office picnic
Oh, and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of Rice Krispies?
What I meant was, there was only enough left for me, sorry
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I can say
I thought of some more things that should scare you away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
Once I blew my nose and then I wiped it on your cat (cat)
And I lied – yes, that dress makes you look fat
Anyway, I shouldn’t say anymore
‘Til I give you part four of my confessions
I mean, I’m just getting started here
I’m not even halfway down the list
This thing could go on for…
Hey hey, where you goin’?
Honey?
What?
Was it something I said?
Women…