It’s All About The Pentiums, baby
Uh. Uh-huh, yeah. Uh. Uh-huh, yeah.
It’s All About The Pentiums, baby
Uh.
It’s all about the Pentiums, baby
It’s all about the Pentiums!
It’s all about the Pentiums! Yeah!

Whatcha’ll wanna do?
Wanna be hackers?
Code crackers, slackers
Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers
9 to 5 chillin’ at Hewlett-Packard
Workin’ at a desk with a dumb little placard
Yeah, payin’ the bills with my mad programming skills.
Defraggin’ my hard drive for thrills
I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
I never feed trolls
And I don’t read SPAM
Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC double clickin’ on my miz-ouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I’m strictly plug and play
Uh-huh!
I ain’t afraid of Y2K
I’m down with Bill Gates, I call him money for short
I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support

It’s all bout the Pentiums, What?
You’ve got to be the dumbest noobie I’ve ever seen
You’ve got White-Out all over your screen
You think your Commodore 64 is really neat-o
What kinda chip you got in there? A Dorito?
You’re using a 286? Don’t make me laugh
Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half?
You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette
You’re the biggest joke on the Internet
Your database is a disaster
You’re waxing your modem, tryin’ to make it go faster
Hey fella! I bet you’re still livin’ in your parents cellar
Downloadin’ pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar

And postin’ “Me too” like some braindead AOL-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
You’re just about as useless as JPEGs to Hellen Keller

It’s all about the Pentiums
It’s all about the Pentiums
It’s all about the Pentiums, yeah!
It’s all about the Pentiums

Now! Whatcha’ll wanna do?
Wanna be hackers?
Code crackers, slackers
Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers?
9 to 5 chillin’ at Hewlett-Packard

Wanna run with my crew, huh?
Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?
They call me the king of the spreadsheets
Got ’em all printed out on my bedsheets
My new computer’s got the clocks,
it rocks,
but it was obsolete before I opened the box
You say you’ve had your desktop for over a week.
Uh-huh!
Throw that junk away, man, it’s an antique
Your laptop is a month old? Well that’s great
If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight
My digital media is right protected
Every file inspected, no viruses detected
I’ve beta tested evry operating system
Gave props to some and others? I dissed ’em
While your computer’s crashin’, mine’s multitaskin’
It does all my work without me even askin’

Got a flat screen monitor 40 inches wide
I believe that yours says Etch-A-Sketch on the side
In a 32-bit world you’re a 2-bit user
You’ve got your own newsgroup: alt-totalloser
Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax
Where’d you get your CPU? In a box of Cracker Jacks?
Play me online and you know that I’ll beat you
If I ever meet you I’ll Control-Alt-Delete you

What? What? What? What?
It’s all about the Pentiums, Yeah!
It’s all about the Pentiums, Yeah!
It’s all about the Pentiums, Yeah!
Whatcha’ll wanna do?
Wanna be hackers?
Code crackers, slackers
Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers?
9 to 5 chillin’ at Hewlett-Packard
What?