I dated Siamese twins I slept with Bigfoot, too Get me on Sally Jesse Put me on Donahue ‘Cause I wanna tell the world about it Right Now My dog’s a narcoleptic My mom’s a circus freak I gotta get a spot on Geraldo’s show this week ‘Cause I wanna tell the world about it […]
Oh, Harvey, Harvey Harvey the Wonder Hamster He doesn’t bite and he doesn’t squeal He just runs around on his hamster wheel Harvey, Harvey Harvey the Wonder Hamster Hey, Harvey!
Let me tell you sonny… let me set you straight You kids today ain’t never had it rough Always had everything handed to you on a silver plate You lazy brats think nothing’s good enough Well, nobody ever drove me to school when it was ninety degrees below We had to walk butt-naked through forty […]
I woke up this morning Then I went back to bed Said I woke up this morning Then I went right back to bed Got a funny kind of feelin’ like I got broken glass in my underwear And a herd of wild pigs is trying to chew off my head You know what I’m […]
Let me be your hog Let me be your hog, now (snort, snort) I said baby baby baby baby Baby baby baby baby baby baby baby!
They showed up on my doorstep just a couple weeks ago They looked so sweet and harmless Tell me, how was I to know They got a little too close to the microwave and then much to my surprise They grew to forty thousand times their original size They started mutatin’ right before my eyes […]
Me-he-he-helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie Why won’t you go out with me She lived across the street on the fifteenth floor of the Gilmore building I saw her in the shower reaching for some soap I knew she had to be the girl for me And to think I probably never would […]
Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means First I’m goin’ shoppin’ in my underwear Then all of sudden I’m floating in mid air My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere Now Doctor, wait a minute, you […]
Oh, I couldn’t live a single day without you Actually, on second thought, well, I suppose I could Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, honey, you’re the greatest Well, at any rate, I guess you’re pretty good Now, it seems to me I’m relatively lucky I know I probably couldn’t ask for too much […]